There are a lot of people that might want to speak highly of me because I have stepped in to take care of my brother. And that’s not wrong- indeed it is a big commitment, but the thing is that after only a couple weeks I am realizing how beneficial this new situation is for me. Having Jake always around has made me realize how lonely I have been for comfortable company. Knowing that Jake depends on me now to take care of him… even if right now that only means preparing his meals, folding his socks, and reminding him of the importance of deodorant… I still have a sense of purpose and being needed. There have been a few times in my life where I knew I was doing something I was made for: counseling women, singing in worship, delivering babies, and now caring for a kid. Obviously I had to skip most of the cute parts of child raising and jumped right into the early teenage awkward stage, but even so, I love loving him. Someday I hope Jake will know how special this time was for me.
I had a dream recently and I only remember a glimpse of it. I was standing at the beginning of an aisle- about to get married at the other end. I was looking down at my feet for a moment & I knew the man whose arm was linked with my own, the man about to walk me down the aisle and give me away… was my brother. =)
Today I was thinking that if I’m old and wrinkled on that wedding day- at least I’ll have had a turn at raising a child. That’s a blessing. I am Jake’s big sister taking care of him, but he is also here for me… giving me something I didn’t realize I longed for so much; a family.